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What doesn't kill you gives you an unhealthy set of coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humour Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
$6.77
Don’t worry dishes, no one is doing me either Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I’m super lazy. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a fucking cape Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Failure is always an option Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I’m a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. Someday I’m going to be fucking awesome Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I do not have ducks I do not have a row I have squirrels and they're at a rave Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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You're so vain you probably think this ritualistic voodoo doll is about you Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Dear Life what the actual fuck Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Life has never given me lemons, It has given me anger issues, anxiety, a love for alcohol, But not lemons. Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Every time I think I have my ducks in a row. I turn round and one of those fuckers has waddled off Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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You are never worthless. Organs go for a lot on the black market Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Unattended children will be given an energy drink, sugary sweets and taught profanities Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Everyone was thinking it, I fucking said it Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic Offensive
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I fucking hate people Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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You cannot begin to imagine the immensity of fucks Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I’d explain it to you, but I’m all out of puppets and crayons Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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You cannot begin to imagine the immensity of fucks Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I think my guardian angel smokes crack Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I'm not good at pull ups. push ups. or sit ups. I do however excel at fuck ups Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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