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Some days I amaze myself, others I look for my phone when it’s in my fucking hand Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I’m just a girl standing in front of a salad asking it to be a doughnut Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I don’t know what I’d do without coffee……. Probably 25 to life Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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When you and your friend laugh at the same joke, Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I don't just flirt with disaster I make it come on my face! Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Never go to bed angry stay awake and plot revenge Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Personally I don’t find swearing offensive. I do find, backstabbing, lying, cheating Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Fuck this is my circus and they are my monkeys Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I don't just flirt with disaster I bend over and let it pick a hole Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I’m super lazy. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a fucking cape Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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If I was meant to be controlled I'd have come with a remote Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Don't give up; you've still got a couple of motherfuckers to prove wrong Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I would call you a cunt, but you lack the depth and warmth Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
$6.87
Go ahead underestimate me, That'll be fun Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
$6.87
Dear life could you at least spit on it first Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Therapy is nice but screaming “FUCK” at the top of your lungs is a lot cheaper Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
$6.87
You're so vain you probably think this strategically placed bathroom webcam is about you Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
$6.87
With petrol prices at 5 per gallon, it is cheaper to do cocaine and run everywhere Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
$6.87
I’m smiling… that alone should scare you Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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