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When comforting the grammar police, I always say softly “their, there, they’re” Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Common sense is so rare these days; it should be classed as a super power Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I don’t burn bridges I just loosen the bolts a little each day Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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This pretending to be a functioning adult bullshit is fucking exhausting Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I can’t drop it like it’s hot, so I’m just going to sit down like it’s warm Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I would call you a cunt, but you lack the depth and warmth Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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If I had a pound for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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If you're happy and you know it it's the meds Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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My middle finger salutes you Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I have absolutely no fucking desire to fit in Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Lead me not into temptation. Oh who the fuck am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn’t made plans and wondering where those bruises Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Don’t give up; you’ve still got a couple of motherfuckers to prove wrong Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I don’t sugar coat shit, I’m not Willy Wonka Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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My bucket list is pretty short, my fuck it list gets longer by the day Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Dogs welcome humans tolerated Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I either give too many fucks or no fucks at all. It’s like I cannot find a middle ground for Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Caution free range children Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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You are never worthless. Organs go for a lot on the black market, Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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In my defence, I was left unsupervised Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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