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You're so vain, you probably think that strategically placed webcam is about you Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell on a full scholarship Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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What doesn’t kill you disappoints me Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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It’s all fun and games until your metabolism slows down Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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You call them swear words i call the sentence enhancers Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I love you all. Except you. You know who you are, douche Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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What doesn't kill you gives you an unhealthy set of coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humour Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Don’t worry dishes, no one is doing me either Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I’m super lazy. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a fucking cape Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Failure is always an option Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I’m a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. Someday I’m going to be fucking awesome Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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You're so vain you probably think this ritualistic voodoo doll is about you Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Dear Life what the actual fuck Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Life has never given me lemons, It has given me anger issues, anxiety, a love for alcohol, But not lemons. Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Every time I think I have my ducks in a row. I turn round and one of those fuckers has waddled off Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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You are never worthless. Organs go for a lot on the black market Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Unattended children will be given an energy drink, sugary sweets and taught profanities Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Everyone was thinking it, I fucking said it Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic Offensive
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I fucking hate people Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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