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Orgies don't just start themselves Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I wonder if Life smokes after it fucks me Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Never chase after someone who doesn’t chase you back. So the ice cream man can fuck off for a start. Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I just knew we’d be friends forever from the moment I discovered that you also have no filter Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Dear Monday, just hand me Friday and nobody gets hurt Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Dear Life, can you at least buy me a drink first Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Well that escalated quickly” is our family motto Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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My death will probably be caused by being sarcastic at the wrong time Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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They call it a ‘selfie’ because ‘narcissistie’ is too hard to spell Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I'm tired of getting fucked in ways that don’t end in an orgasm Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Listen bitch, before you start messing with me you should know I don’t play games…. I win them Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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PATIENCE, What you have when there are witnesses Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I tried to be normal once. Worst 2 minute of my life Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Judge me when you are perfect Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Dear Life, When I said can it get any worse it was a rhetorical question not a fucking challenge Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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The opinions of the man of the house are not those Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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That's what she said Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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Some days I amaze myself, others I look for my phone when it’s in my fucking hand Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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I’m just a girl standing in front of a salad asking it to be a doughnut Dictionary Print Funny Sarcastic
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